【读后感】六年级我的老师学习心得：从怕写作文到写出真情

我的观察三步法：蹲下来看老师改作业

以前我写老师，翻来覆去就那几句：工作认真，关心同学，像妈妈一样。上学期我们练写人作文，老师要求写只属于自己老师的东西，我坐在座位上想了十分钟，脑子里一片空白。从那以后我开始观察，方法其实很简单，就三步。

第一步是看，看老师改作业。每天交完作业我会留在讲台边多看几眼。我发现我们的王老师改作业不用圆珠笔，全用红笔；她改计算题不打叉，错的地方画一个小圈；她改到写得好的句子，会在下面画波浪线，还在旁边写一个小小的好字。有一次我数了数，她一摞本子改完，波浪线画了三十多道，自己的批语却只有几个字。这些发现以前我根本不知道，因为我从来不看。

第二步是听，听老师的口头禅。王老师上课有几句话反复出现：这道题我讲过没有？讲过。那为什么还有人在错？她讲完难点会说一遍听懂的同学举手，我注意到她每次扫视全班的眼神都不一样，没人举手她就换个例子再讲。我把这些话记在心里，后来写作文直接引用，老师说这才像她。

第三步是记，准备一个小本子，名字就叫素材本。每天只记一条，写清楚时间、老师做了什么或说了什么。一学期下来记了九十多条，翻本子的时候，哪个老师是哪个老师，清清楚楚。写作文那天，我从本子里挑了三条：画波浪线、口头禅、还有一次她把讲错的题在黑板上擦掉重讲。三样东西一组合，一篇作文不到四十分钟就写完了。

这个三步法我推荐给全班同学。看、听、记都不难，难的是坚持。我的素材本现在还在用，因为初中写作文一样要这些东西。观察这件事，一旦开始就停不下来了，走在校园里看见哪个老师批改作业的样子，我都会多看两眼。

My Three-Step Observation Method: Watching the Teacher Grade Homework Up Close

I used to write about teachers with the same few lines: serious about work, caring to students, like a mother. Last term we practiced character essays, and our teacher required us to write things belonging only to our own teacher. I sat at my desk thinking for ten minutes with an empty mind. From then on I started observing, and the method is simple: three steps.

Step one is watching, watching the teacher grade homework. Every day after handing in assignments I stay by the platform for a few extra glances. I found that our Teacher Wang never uses a ballpoint pen, only a red pen; she does not cross out wrong calculations but draws a small circle around the mistake; when she finds a well-written sentence she draws a wave line under it and writes a tiny good character beside it. Once I counted: after grading one stack of notebooks she had drawn more than thirty wave lines, while her own comments were only a few characters each. I had never known these things before, because I never looked.

Step two is listening, listening for the teacher's catchphrases. Teacher Wang repeats several sentences in class: Have I covered this problem before? Yes. Then why are some of you still getting it wrong? After explaining a hard point she asks those who understand to raise hands, and I noticed her eyes sweep the room differently each time; if nobody raises a hand, she switches to another example and explains again. I kept these phrases in mind and later quoted them directly in my essay; the teacher said this finally sounds like her.

Step three is writing it down, with a small notebook I call the material book. One entry a day only: the time, and what the teacher did or said. By the end of the term I had over ninety entries, and flipping through them, each teacher is clearly themselves. On essay day I picked three entries from the book: the wave lines, the catchphrase, and the time she erased a problem she taught wrongly and taught it again. Combining the three, I finished the essay in under forty minutes.

I recommend this three-step method to all classmates. Watching, listening, and noting are not hard; keeping it up is. I still use my material book now, because middle school essays need the same things. Once observation starts, it does not stop; walking on campus, whenever I see a teacher grading homework, I take another look.

修改前后对比：同一段作文我改了两次

这篇心得我直接把三个版本抄出来，改动一目了然。

第一版，五十字左右：我的王老师对工作非常负责，对同学们非常关心，上课讲得生动有趣，我非常喜欢她。她就像妈妈一样温暖。写完我数了数，形容词七个，事情零件。当时我觉得这已经写得不错了，因为每个词都是真心话。

第二版，改在观察批改作业之后：有一次放学后我去办公室交作业，王老师正在改我们班的日记。她每个错别字都画一个小圈，不画大叉。我看到她在一篇日记下面画了波浪线，旁边写了个小小的好字。办公室很安静，只有笔尖在纸上划的声音。这一版多了一件事和三个细节：画小圈、波浪线、笔尖的声音。老师批语写的是：有画面了，但这个人还不会说话。

第三版，改在记录口头禅之后：我把她常讲的那句加进去。那天我错题又犯，她把我叫到跟前说：这道题我讲过没有？讲过。那为什么还在错？说完她从抽屉里拿出一张新的草稿纸，把题目重新演算一遍，最后问我：现在再讲一遍给你听，还是你自己回去做？我说自己做。她点点头，在本子上给我画了个笑脸。这一版多了语言、动作和一个结尾的小画面。老师批语只有四个字：这就是她。

三次修改让我明白一件事：喜欢老师这句话没有错，但它应该是读者读完作文之后自己得出的结论，而不是我开头就喊出来的口号。把老师做的事写出来，喜欢两个字不写，别人也能感觉到。

现在我的作文本里还夹着这三版对比页，每次不知道怎么写，就拿出来看一遍第一版，提醒自己别再回去。

Before and After: I Revised the Same Paragraph Twice

In this reflection I copy out all three versions directly, so the changes speak for themselves.

Version one, about fifty characters: my Teacher Wang is extremely responsible about work and extremely caring to us, her classes are lively and interesting, and I like her very much. She is as warm as a mother. After writing I counted: seven adjectives, zero events. At the time I thought it was pretty good, because every word was sincere.

Version two, revised after I watched her grade homework: one day after school I went to the office to hand in assignments, and Teacher Wang was grading our class journals. She drew a small circle around every wrong character instead of a big cross. I saw her draw a wave line under one journal entry with a tiny good character beside it. The office was quiet except for the pen scratching on paper. This version gained one event and three details: the small circle, the wave line, and the sound of the pen. The teacher's comment read: there is a picture now, but this person still cannot speak.

Version three, revised after I recorded her catchphrase: I added the sentence she always says. That day I made the same mistake again, and she called me over: Have I covered this problem before? Yes. Then why are you still getting it wrong? Then she took a fresh sheet of scratch paper from the drawer and reworked the problem step by step, finally asking me: shall I explain it once more, or will you do it yourself back at your desk? I said I would do it myself. She nodded and drew a smiley face in my notebook. This version gained speech, actions, and a small closing picture. The teacher's comment was four characters: this is her.

The three revisions taught me one thing: saying I like the teacher is not wrong, but it should be the reader's conclusion after finishing the essay, not a slogan I shout at the beginning. Write out what the teacher does, and even without the word like, people can feel it.

The comparison page of the three versions is still tucked in my essay book. Whenever I do not know how to write, I read version one again and warn myself not to go back there.