四个素材怎么装进400字:三个角色一段话,拔河一段话
这篇读后感的题目要求四个素材:唐僧的坚持、孙悟空的本领、八戒和沙僧的配合,再加一次班级拔河比赛的经历。四个素材装进四百到五百字,最稳的排法是四段,每段一个素材,开头第一段就亮出观点。
开头段写观点,五十到七十字。直接写:以前我以为取经靠的是孙悟空,读完才明白,靠的是四个人凑在一起。观点要像门一样,后面的段落都从这道门进。
第二段写三个角色,一百五十字左右,一人两三句。唐僧的坚持写他说过的那类话:不去西天誓不回还,被女儿国国王挽留也没留下。孙悟空的本领写他打妖怪、也写他三次被赶走三次都回来。八戒沙僧的配合写沙僧挑担牵马、八戒偶尔也用九齿钉耙帮上忙。三个角色要写出不同:一个定方向,一个打硬仗,两个做杂活补位。
第三段写拔河比赛,一百二十字左右。把班级写成取经队:体育委员喊号子像唐僧定方向,班里最重的几个男生站队头像孙悟空打硬仗,我站在队尾压绳像沙僧做杂活。细节写手心被绳子磨红的印子,写赢了以后全班叠在一起的手。
结尾段收束,五十字:妖怪再凶,也凶不过一条心。把书和比赛接在一起,观点再点一次。
排完检查:三个角色是不是各写了不同分工?拔河段有没有绳印、叠手这样的细节?全文有没有一句空话,比如团结就是力量,有就删掉。
Fitting Four Materials into 400 Words: One Paragraph per Character, One for the Tug-of-War
This response needs four materials: Tang Monk's perseverance, Sun Wukong's ability, the cooperation of Pigsy and Sandy, plus one class tug-of-war experience. To fit four materials into four or five hundred words, the safest layout is four paragraphs, one material each, with the viewpoint stated in the very first paragraph.
The opening paragraph states the viewpoint in fifty to seventy words. Write directly: I used to think the scripture journey rested on Sun Wukong, and only after reading did I understand it rested on four people pushed together. The viewpoint should be like a door, and every later paragraph enters through it.
Paragraph two covers the three characters in about one hundred fifty words, two or three sentences each. Tang Monk's perseverance shows in the kind of vow he makes: I will not turn back until I reach the West, and even the Queen of the Women's Kingdom could not make him stay. Wukong's ability shows in fighting demons, and also in being driven away three times and returning three times. Pigsy and Sandy's cooperation shows in Sandy carrying the loads and holding the horse, while Pigsy occasionally swings his nine-tooth rake to help. The three roles must look different: one sets the direction, one fights the hard battles, two do the chores and cover the gaps.
Paragraph three tells the tug-of-war in about one hundred twenty words. Turn the class into a scripture team: the sports monitor chanting the rhythm is like Tang Monk setting direction, the heaviest boys at the front are like Wukong fighting the hard fight, and I anchor the rope at the end like Sandy doing chores. Write the detail of rope marks red on the palms, and the pile of hands stacked together after winning.
The closing paragraph, fifty words: no demon is fiercer than one heart pulling together. Connect the book and the match, and state the viewpoint one more time.
After arranging, check: did each of the three characters get a different job? Does the tug-of-war paragraph hold details like rope marks and stacked hands? Is there any empty sentence such as unity is strength? If yes, delete it.
一篇范文逐段拆:《团队的力量》里角色和比赛怎么对接
先看一篇四年级水平的范文,再逐段看它怎么把书里的四个人和一场拔河接起来。
范文开头:以前我看《西游记》,只记得孙悟空厉害。现在我才发现,少了另外三个人,他一个妖怪也打不完。点评:两句话立住观点,先承认旧想法再翻新想法,比直接喊团队真伟大自然得多。
范文第二段:唐僧不会武功,可他定了方向就不回头,女儿国、富贵、威胁都拦不住他。孙悟空负责打,火眼金睛加一根金箍棒,再难的妖怪也见过。八戒偷懒,可关键时刻钉耙也举得起来;沙僧话最少,担子一路都是他的。一个指路,一个开路,两个垫底,缺一个这经就取不成。点评:三个角色各一句,指路、开路、垫底三个词把分工写得不重复,这是这段最值钱的地方。
范文第三段:上学期班级拔河,我站在队尾压绳。体育委员喊一二、一二,像唐僧念着方向;班里最壮的张航站最前面,像孙悟空顶住头阵;我脚抵着脚往后坐,手心磨出两道红印,像沙僧挑担那样使笨力气。最后我们赢了,全班的手叠在一起。点评:拔河段把三个角色各自映射到同学身上,映射要一一对准:喊号子对唐僧,排头对悟空,压绳对沙僧,对得准,书和事就焊在一起了。
范文结尾:妖怪再凶,凶不过一条心。点评:十个字收住,不喊口号。
全文四百三十字左右。模仿时重点抄两样:角色分工的三个词,和拔河里的一一映射。
Taking a Model Essay Apart: How Characters and the Match Connect in The Power of Team
First read a fourth-grade model essay, then take it apart paragraph by paragraph to see how the four characters from the book connect with one tug-of-war match.
Model opening: When I first read Journey to the West, I only remembered how strong Sun Wukong was. Now I realize that without the other three, he could not finish even one demon. Review: two sentences set the viewpoint by admitting an old idea and then replacing it, which is far more natural than shouting how great teamwork is.
Model paragraph two: Tang Monk knows no martial arts, yet once he sets the direction he never turns back; the Women's Kingdom, wealth, and threats cannot stop him. Wukong handles the fighting, with his fiery eyes and one golden staff, and he has seen every kind of demon. Pigsy is lazy, but at the critical moment his rake still goes up; Sandy speaks the least, and the carrying poles were his the whole road. One points the way, one clears the way, two hold the bottom, and if one is missing the scriptures cannot be fetched. Review: three characters get one sentence each, and the three verbs pointing, clearing, and holding keep the division of labor from repeating, which is the most valuable part of this paragraph.
Model paragraph three: Last term our class entered a tug-of-war, and I anchored the rope at the end. The sports monitor chanted one-two, one-two, like Tang Monk keeping the direction; Zhang Hang, the sturdiest boy, stood at the very front like Wukong holding the first battle; I dug my feet in and leaned back, with two red rope marks ground into my palms, using dumb strength like Sandy with his carrying poles. In the end we won, and the whole class stacked our hands together. Review: the match paragraph maps each character onto a classmate, and the mapping must line up one by one: the chanter to Tang Monk, the front man to Wukong, the anchor to Sandy, and once the lines align, the book and the event are welded together.
Model ending: No demon is fiercer than one heart pulling together. Review: ten words close the essay, with no slogan.
The whole essay runs about four hundred thirty words. When imitating it, copy two things above all: the three verbs that divide the labor, and the one-to-one mapping inside the tug-of-war.
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